Advice & F.A.Q from Richard Siken
All credit goes to @RichardSiken on twitter, advice compiled by salem void
There have been little bright spots in the downfall of twitter to cling to in its rapid descent into completely unusable territory, and one of them is the return of award winning poet, Richard Siken. His return comes from the cessation of the Richard Siken Bot (recently returned in human form with daily quotes instead of hourly) coming to its close as twitter bot functioning has been severely limited. Richard Siken remarked that most of the quotes the bot would cycle are nearly 20 years old at this point, and this coupled with it’s cessation of hourly quotes has urged him to not only share new writing with us, but also run what is functionally the best poetry and life advice column that i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I tweeted a few weeks ago, “I now exclusively tweet to impress Richard Siken”, as he became more and more active, continually dropping morsels of advice and guidance that shook me to my core. 6:18am on random mornings in August and I read something on twitter from a poet I have adored for a decade that he drafted up in no time, to a twitter user with a username something like braisednoodle556. It’s a gift.
I started thinking that this advice, these words should be immortalized elsewhere since the state of twitter (or should I be calling it “x”) is so precarious these days. I also firmly believe people who aren’t on that website and don’t want to be, should have access to seeing and experiencing all of the wonderful things that Richard has to say to his readers. I thought about this for about a week, asked a few friends, queried in my discord about it — and I finally took the plunge and formally asked Richard Siken if I could compile all of this, and he said it would be a great idea. So here we are. A compilation of Richard Siken’s impromptu advice column started up on twitter. The things Richard has said about himself, his life, his process, his writing — have opened us up to parts of his mind that make the writing we’ve connected with hit even harder, and have personally encouraged me to dig much deeper, in spite of the ways it can ache. I won’t be rehashing the questions he’s graciously answered that go something like “have you seen this show? have you heard this poem? do you listen to this artist?” — he said it best himself why not: “There's a category of question -- Have you heard this? What do you think about this? -- that boils down to "Do you like what I like?" It's exhausting.”
In the month of Richard Siken being active on twitter he has been raked over the coals for being against taking stances on political matters he doesn’t have the knowledge to accurately evaluate, raked over the coals for enjoying fictional incest, raked over the coals for having the opinion that cannibalism should end at a metaphor — but he’s still there, graciously answering dozens of inquiries daily because he’s just that kind of guy. He’s honest, and he cares.
On August 6th, 2023 Richard Siken tweeted a picture of a new show Heartstopper, showing that one of the characters is reading his book Crush at a party. In the tweet he calls the show “Heartstoppers”, which he has later apologized for, another display of sincerity I am not used to seeing in largely admired artists.
A user quoted this tweet from him with the text:"I would die on the cross for you Richard” He responded: “No need to die or do anything for me. If the poems are reaching you, that’s enough.”
Without further ado, here’s a compilation of pieces of advice and answers to some frequently asked questions from Richard Siken.
Bolded text are the words of Richard Siken. U = User. I am omitting usernames for privacy. It’s also a stand in for “you”. All advice is separated by date. Content warnings for depression, existentialism, suicide, self=harm, homophobia, queerphobia and general misery.
August 6th, 2023
U: “i love that richard siken is canonically in the heartstopper universe but if i saw anyone do that at a party irl i would feel morally obligated to go up to them and ask them if they were feeling alright”
RS: “Obviously they are not feeling all right. Move on to step two.”
U: “started august with crushwhere do I go from here”
RS: “Anything by Dennis Cooper or Frank Stanford”
August 7th, 2023
U: “richard i need you to tell me that adolescence will stop ripping my heart out one day”
RS: “Yep, it stops. And you gain agency and control over your life. Still heartbreak, but without blame or hard feelings.”
U: “at what age does one start feeling like a real person?”
RS: “It's more like your concept of a real person changes and you feel more comfortable”
RS: “I didn't howl at the moon, I yelled at a lamp." --Richard Siken, The Horns (Unpublished)”
U: “my suffering isn’t beautiful”
RS: “But your survival is”
U(in response to Richard Sikens unpublished poem, The Horns): “Mr Siken would you kindly please stop breaking my heart? Thank you”
RS: “I don't mean to, I'm just talking about my day.”
U: “It’s okay, i love this heartbreak (and reading your amazing work) so i am sorry about the initial tweet”
RS: "We're just playing. Of course I try to break your heart. That's the job.”
RS: “The question was "Would you ever make a film about your work." Well, yes. Here are two.”
https://vimeo.com/68025939
https://vimeo.com/119626417
RS: “Here’s the biggest question and the biggest problem: What are the consequences of sexualizing these relationships? The possibility of erotic desire may or may not be hinted at in the original work — but ignore that. The probability of romantic love could be low or high — — but ignore that. The suggestion that these partnerships are necessarily monogamous, supersede all other potential loves or lovers, and could be considered a type of marriage — ignore that. The question, the problem: How can I possibly convince anyone that I could like my best friend for non-sexual reasons? How do I make room for the possibility of deep care and tenderness between men who aren’t fucking if I sexualize every male/male relationship I encounter? Perhaps the subtleties come later. Perhaps we need to push all the way into highly erotic realms to allow ourselves the room to pull back into places of possible non-sexual tenderness.”
RS: “Fan Fiction is transgressive. It co-opts the creator's vision. It steps on it. It is fiction built on fiction. There can be no canon in it. I say do it, have at it. I have tried it and my Destiel is better writing than my Wincest. My Johnlock is better than both. But if you are fighting about it and name-calling, you are doing it wrong. You are draining the fun out of it, even hurting people. I will never be a fan of that. I don't take shit from bullies. No one should. Shame on you.”
August 8th, 2023
RS: “Read widely, write regularly, don’t be afraid when it goes bad for a while, stay curious and pay close attention to the world and how you feel about it.”
U: “what's your favorite poem you've written?”
RS: “Litany In Which Certain Things are Crossed Out. It is the most fun to read at a reading because of the surprises”
U: “mr. siken which poem do you think had the Most drastic change from your first draft?”
RS: “Wishbone. It was pages long and full of venom. It was too much.”
RS: “Crush is one story told three times. Each section is a different version.”
U: “mr siken, what is something you wish you could go back and tell your younger writer self? what is something you’ve learned that’s incredibly valuable?”
RS: “I would say be brave and go find your people”
U: “Not a question, but the best thing I’ve ever read is “I’ll be your slaughterhouse, your killing floor, your morgue and final resting.”
RS: “I was so so mad when I wrote that. I still get mad when I read it.”
U: “I’m starting my first poetry class at my primarily stem college … feeling intimidated.. any advice prior to starting? I’ve only written in diaries, between math problems, and in my notes app”
RS: “I was told to write 100 poems and throw them away. I wasn’t allowed to keep a poem until poem 101. Don’t get stuck, don’t be afraid to try things and have them fail, don’t get too precious about the early work.”
U: “do you write what you know or what you desire [to know]?”
RS: “Both. And I invent what I wish were true. After my stroke I forgot everything so I had to write to figure out what I knew, if I knew anything.”
U: “If you were to articulate the evolution of your poetry, how would you describe the way it’s changed and/or grown? I’m constantly struggling w the idea of being “one note” and reusing phraseology but everything you write feels familiar AND new”
RS: “I knew I would write about the same things (love) so I made rules and restrictions about craft. Crush was 2nd person narrative, Foxes was 3rd person rhetorical, the new one is 1st person meditative.”
U: “is there a reason that scheherazade is the first poem of crush? i think its the perfect opening but i cant place why”
RS: “It works as an intro because it is a short lyric separate from the rest of the story”
U: “i would love to know the behind the scenes of four proofs. absolutely one of my favorite poems ever its so interesting”
RS: “Simon Schama's Power of Art was a big influence. You can find it on YouTube. I wanted to write about painting so I felt I should make the paintings myself, but I just had to talk about real artists somewhere in the book.”
U: “what was the hardest poem to write?”
RS: “Unfinished Duet, in the middle of Crush, where I talk to myself. When I wrote that my hands were birds that fly away from me I startled myself and started to cry.”
U: “does the urge to go back and change words in a poem ever go away? and is it okay to always live with that urge?”
RS: “Sometimes I want to break into bookstores and people’s houses to change or fix something. I’ve learned to leave it be and use the impulse to make a new poem (that sometimes dialogues with it)”
U: “my favorite poems from crush are litany and straw house straw dog. i think both of these poems use imagery in ways that are unexpected and tie in personal mythologies. did you start either of these poems with one image in mind or did that come later?”
RS: “I actually start with sound, not image. I’ll catch myself thinking a phrase and wonder what I really mean”
August 9, 2023
U: “What is a poem that you started writing thinking it was about one thing and then found by the end it was about something completely different? Or what was a poem you were surprised to find yourself writing?”
RS: “Oh, my best poems are smarter than I am. They insist on going where they need to and I try to ease up on my original intent and get out of my own way.”
U: “Do you often find that the poems that become more popular are the ones that aren’t your own favorite? I feel like a lot of artists (across all mediums) have felt this way”
RS: “Sometimes my favorite poems are in an emotional shorthand that is meant for me and not the reader. That's why they don't reach out as well.”
U: “And again a very personal question, and feel free to skip any that I’ve asked: Feeling “more” — is it a gift or curse that makes you the author you are, or was it explained in any way with trauma, a diagnosis like BPD, dysfunctional schemas or such? Thank you, Mr. Siken!”
RS: “I'm going to post a new poem part as an answer. Hold on. It'll be about my mother.”
RS (In a new post): “Her boyfriend at the time was a walk-in: a man so previously sad that his original self had left its body and something else had grabbed the wheel. This new thing was driving the car and sleeping with my mom. I have been sad but never have I left my body. My mother has been sadder, but it never made her a poet. I practice my sentences." --Richard Siken, Cult Leader (Unpublished)”
U: “Question! We know your work is primarily based on personal experiences, but after learning you’ve dabbled in writing fanfiction & seeing as your poetry has become a staple in fandom over the years, I was wondering; have you ever written poems inspired by fictional media?”
RS: “I'm no good at it. I write about what I feel, not so much about other people's stuff. I wish I could. I'd like a greater, more dynamic range.”
U: “your words haunt me”
RS: “They haunt me, too. They start as hauntings, I guess, and then I put words around them.”
U: “i wanna know what richard siken’s fav album is so bad like what do u listen to when u write”
RS: “Anything/everything by Phillip Glass. It has crazy repetitions and no words (so I can think about my own.)”
U: “do you think one can love again after losing someone you loved with your mind, body and soul? After losing someone whom you gave everything to?”
RS: “Yes, you can. And it feels like some kind of betrayal, but it isn't.”
U: “uff i really really love this. it's a bit unrelated but i'm wondering now...do any of your poems still plague you? like you'll be going about your day then suddenly remember it and feel like you just got hit by a truck? (this is the average experience of a siken stan)”
RS: “The new poems do. I have to relive the stroke, which is a lot to handle.”
U: “i'm sorry. how do you deal with that? do you write more poems or are there any books You seek out and find comfort in? how do you lessen the ache?”
RS: “It's not so much that you lessen the ache, it's more like your world keeps getting bigger and better around it.”
U: “is there any (published) poem you've written that you never re-read?”
RS: “Snow and Dirty Rain and The Worm King's Lullaby. Too sad, even for me.”
U: *Post now deleted*
RS: “I like voice-driven narratives, poems that risk and surprise, and the music of the English language. Look up Eavan Boland's Object Lessons if you want to read some truly great-sounding poetry. Great literature is about the reader, not the writer. don't think of it as being vulnerable, think of it as unraveling them.”
U: “hi mr siken love your work!! i'd love to know what the reasoning was behind the dialogue btwn the rabbits and btwn the birds being formatted as a script in war of the foxes! such a good decision was it there in the first draft or formatted like that later?”
RS: “It was the only way to do it. I wanted them as characters and I wanted them to speak as if it were a play.”
U: “yeah i know ur all excited about richard siken active on twitter era BUT are u as excited as me, who is literally terrified to interact with anyone i look up to for fear they may fall short of the pedestal i've put them on? :-)”
RS: “I will fall short. I'm just a little guy with soft hands.”
RS: “Somewhere someone asked me about the indentions in Crush. I can't find the post to reply, so here: Most poetry is left justified. You read a line, and you come all the way back to baseline, and you read another line, and you come all the way back to baseline. I felt like it was starting over every time. The movement of the eye to come back to the left margin felt like starting over. I wanted to think about it in a different way: I wanted to consider the left margin as ground, or baseline, with the weight of gravity,and the right margin as divinity. If I had some energy moving forward, I didn’t always want to come back all the way to left—to tonic, to starting over. So I would indent. All the indents are there to keep those lines floating in the air.”
U: “really fascinating way to consider momentum of a thought and phraseology - was there a specific rhyme/reason behind how much side you gave for the indentions?”
RS: “The further away from the left margin, the less it starts over. Physically even. How the eye tracks.”
U: “I actually have a… basic question. It might sound stupid. What, do you think, separates your prose from your poetry? Or prose from poetry in general? Certainly not lineation or spacing alone. The intensity? Your prose can get very intense as well. I just realized I don’t know.”
RS: “Prose is talking, poetry is singing. In prose, I have things to say. In poetry, I have feelings to express.”
U: “mr siken! how do you get over the hump of editing a poem that you just cant stand to look at anymore? is that the point where you toss it or you try to salvage it?”
RS: “It's an example of your vision outpacing your craft. It means you're on to something. Put it in a drawer. When you come back to it, whenever that is, try approaching it from a different angle.”
U: “hello hi I wanted to ask how do you go about writing poetry, like do you sit and be like yeah now I'm going to write, or does it hit you at 3 am out of nowhere and you're sitting there contemplating everything and then you write? Idk if I make sense”
RS: “I write in my notebook every day. I pick an idea and and image. Most of it is just fun but sometimes I realize I am thinking or feeling something real and I poke at it. The best thing I ever did was to write ten lines every day for a year. I learned what my concerns were.”
U: “have you ever tried to connect one poem to another? I may have found some similarities in a sort of storyline but it would be super interesting to see the same story told by different prospectives”
RS: “When you find a poem you keep returning to because you got it so right or so wrong, try writing a response poem to it. I do that a lot.”
U: “what is the one thing that makes you feel like you’ve succeeded the most in your writing .. like what makes you step back and feel like you accomplished what you wanted to?”
RS: “When I read an old poem and I can remember/revisit the original feeling, then I really know that I caught it.”
U: “mr siken, i rip this technique in my own poetry, directly and explicitly from you. if i ever were to, would it be inappropriate to publish it in this format?”
RS: “If you do it because you feel and mean it, then go ahead. If you are just trying to make it look a certain way then it will feel hollow. Inspiration vs. ornamentation.”
U: “How do you manage to write the kind of poems that cut through the bone of ribcage and right unto the heart no matter which fictional pairing you apply them to”
RS: “Pay close attention to the world. Don't turn away.”
U: “I have a question about your poems — WHY DO THEY GET ME EVERY TIME?!?! The first time I read your poetry, I read and re-read and re-read and re-read.”
RS: “Because we really all feel the same way but I didn't turn away and I practiced my line breaks and counted beats and stresses, made metaphors and threw them away until I made something worth keeping.”
U: “mr. siken, you’ve said you’re a little disconcerted/confused by but okay with your poems being used for f/m ships. what about the lesbians? - a writer 60k into a fic called keeping the bullet”
RS: “I made sure that Scheherazade (and some other poems) were genderless / gender neutral, so that everyone could read and relate to them. Gender is my least concern. I get more confused when people change the words to change the meaning. That seems weird to me.”
August 10th, 2023
RS: “I'm tired of making everybody sad. If you can't poke fun at yourself, you're missing out.”
U: “mister richard siken being active on twitter dot com as the ship is sinking feels a lot like the titanic but if rose and jack found two doors to starfish on”
RS: “There are doors enough for everyone”
U: “any advice for getting started writing a poetry book? i’ve written a lot of poetry but i’m not really sure how to make it all work together. i’m a lifelong aspiring poet your writing is a huge inspiration and means the world to me :)”
RS: “Build an arc. It can be a narrative arc, or an emotional arc, or a development of form or sound, or anything. Find a way of letting it develop and not just continue.”
U: “if you'll humor me — i need to ask you a few burning questions. what was your first published poem and where was it published? do you think its feasible to become a career poet in this day and age, and how? would you recommend any contests or grants for a new writer?”
RS: “Poems from Crush were published in the James White Review and Indiana Review early on. The best way is to submit to journals you think would be a good fit. After you've published a dozen or so poems, submit a chapbook to some contests. Then try the first book contests.”
U: “Mr. Siken: How do you feel when people tell you your poetry has saved their lives? (I am people.)”
RS: “So many books by other authors saved my life. That's what literature does. I'm lucky to be able to participate.”
U: “You are such an important person to so many people who have not even been on the same continent as you. Your words lingered with us while we did the dishes or drove on the highway or cried. You take up permanent space in many minds. How does it feel? How do you handle it?”
RS: “I try to stay humble and remember that other authors did (and do) the same to me, both living and dead.”
U: “hi richard siken we know how you feel about hannigram but i need to know your thoughts on cannibalism & if you would eat the body of a lover as an act of romantic union & devotion”
RS: “I am against cannibalism and blood drinking. I am facinated by the metaphors of wanting to consume something. I know that wanting another that way is selfish and harmful and creates stalkers and abusers. I also know that you can't build a home inside of someone else.”
U: “Have you met any of these “heroes” of yours? If/when they’re awful people, does it steal from their art for you?”
RS: “All of them are just people: some with bad shoes, allergies, anxieties... but they have the hearts and minds that made the work, so you have to consider your expectations”
U: “What do I do when I want to write but the words just don't come?”
RS: “Then you sing until something comes to you. It doesn't even have to be real words.”
U: “should I buy a physical copy of Crush?”
RS: “I like having physical copies. You should do what works for you. Read widely and deeply, that's all any author wants: diversity and community.”
U: “Richard pls how 2 get over breakup help”
RS: “Be good to yourself every day. Think of it as a novel and a very very dark turn of events that needed to happen for the larger plot to work.”
August 11th, 2023
U: “ i was wondering— how do you go and believe in love and the goodness of life and people when practically everything is going wrong?”
RS: “If you can love, surrounded by all of this, then you know that others can, too.”
U: "how do I stop making homes out of people? they leave and suddenly my heart lives in a house I don’t have the keys to, and I want my heart back. I miss them and it gets easier until the quiet moments where it’s all so hard again.”
RS: “Build a home in the space between you. Even if they leave, you still have a house to live in.”
U: “Richard siken is just validating my chronically online behavior. It's okay to be sad on twitter isn't it?”
RS: “It's okay to be sad anywhere, for a while, then you have to shake it off.”
U: “You tell lovely stories with your work that resonate with so many different people. How did you get into poetry rather than some other writing style?”
RS: “I tried all the forms and styles. I was good at poetry. I would rather be a novelist but I can't keep the plot going for long.”
U: “mr. siken what would you say is your favorite recurring theme in WOTF? (birds, everyone needs a place, animal humanization, paintings, etc.)”
RS: “The birds. In Crush, his hands keep turning into birds. In WOTF the birds land. As for the fishsticks: I could have said "Am I what I meant to be?" but that's boring. Having the fishsticks deal with the question was much more interesting to me.”
U: “how do you think you’d have gone about being a writer if you started your career today? interested to hear how you’ve seen the way we write and engage with writing change”
RS: “It isn't a career because it doesn't pay the bills. I've always had to work. I write what I want and publish where I can. It would be the same.”
U: “i've let go of my dreams as a creative because i felt that i couldn't survive through my dreams alone (i.e. financially) & i could never forgive myself for letting go of that. did you ever think of stopping / did you ever have a hard time balancing work & poetry?”
RS: “It's excruciating to navigate art and work, then there's also rest and friends. You just have to do what you can and accept some losses. I don't make money from poems and I don't teach. I've mostly done restaurant work or worked in group homes.”
U: “Do you have any advice for young/aspiring poets?”
RS: “Write often, read widely and deeply, find your people, don't be afraid to suck just keep doing it”
U: “hey mr siken my bestie has unfulfilled dreams because she won’t be allowed to study literature at uni do you have any words of encouragement for her (& me who will be studying writing)”
RS: “You don't need to major in lit. You can study anything, read lit on the side, and make lit friends. They don't learn in class, they learn from each other in coffeeshops and bars. I went to uni for Psychology and Anthropology.”
U: “got any pearls of wisdom for someone who’s struggling to write about something they usually love for an assignment because the words just aren’t coming out right on the page?”
RS: “Write something bad on purpose. Your inner writer will get so disgusted that it will step up”
U: “what do you think the line is between being hopeful and not wanting to accept the truth. is optimism just denial and persistence acting as friends”
RS: “People can change if they want to. If someone is refusing to change, then you have to take that seriously, maybe make a decision. If they aren't being clear that they want what you want AND if their behavior doesn't match, then it's been over for a while.”
U: “very enthralled to know you studied anthropology, mr. siken! how much of an impact has that field had on your writing? has studying that affected the way you go through life, in some kind of way?”
RS: “Cultural Anthropology. I got better understanding different population, rules, expectations, and ways of speaking. It changed everything.”
U: “hi mr siken where are some of your favourite places you like to write or get inspiration from?”
RS: “I like to write in cars with other people driving. The constantly changing landscape inspires movement in my writing, even when I'm writing about something else.”
August 12th, 2023
U: “ richard siken what do i do when i’m in a car with a beautiful boy”
RS: “ God help you. I really don't know. Still.”
U: “i don’t want to have hope anymore, it’s exhausting. what do i do? :(“
RS: “Try not having hope for a week. Be prepared to accept whatever happens. Have no expectations. It will give you a really good sense of what's making you crazy and draining your energy. Then you change things. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but it worked.”
U: “richard siken what do you mean "in a dream i don't tell anyone, you put your head on my lap" i'm feeling SICKKKK in my stomach”
RS: “I don't tell anyone about this small, good moment that I wished for. Because I'm embarrassed by its tenderness and impossibility.”
U: “could you share some insight on this quote? It's my personal favorite, utterly devastates me every-time I read it.”
RS: “It actually happened. It was a little dramatic, but I was crying on the floor and I was distracted by the paint being uneven and it was so absurd. I wondered how sad I really was. It was very fourth wall but in a self-aware way. I _was_ really sad, but I was also something else.”
U: “what was that something else?”
RS: “I was an intellect that could be dispassionate and logical, even in moments of desperation.”
U: “how do i stop falling in love with the idea of love?”
RS: “You don't. You just start falling in love with other things also and you get some relief and balance.”
U: “what do you dream of becoming”
RS: “ I dream of being me, but with more healing and more relief.”
U: “question-answer format is something you employ in a lot of pieces; is there a reason for that? does it realize a true conversation or is it simply a way to better dissect the ideas of the poem?”
RS: “It's the Socratic method. It's how I make sense of the world.”
RS: “It isn't so much what you say but how you say. Van Gogh painted sunflowers. It was _how_ he did it that amazes. People write about trees. Just relax, try stuff, have some fun. When you have something to say, it will bubble up to the surface. Don't worry.”
U: “richard siken . does it ever get better .”
RS: “Yes, it does. And sooner than you think.”
U: “How does one even start the inspiration process ? I feel like I can just admire.”
RS: “Writer's write, that's it. Painter's paint. Get in there and make a mess and have some fun. Judge it later, like a year later.”
U: “Richard Siken, what can I do if what I'm feeling is so intense and complicated that it's hard for me to put it into words? It's like I can't translate my feelings rn”
RS: “I can rarely put it into words when I'm feeling it. I put into words afterwards. At best, I can take some notes.”
August 14th, 2023
U: “Mr Siken, would you consider Crush, WoTF and IDKST a trilogy? Or do you think that they each deal with their own unique / individual topics without feeling I guess... aligned?- in your mind?”
RS: “Crush: 2nd person, film metaphor, narrative Render: 3rd person, paint metaphor, rhetorical Hover: 1st person, music metaphor, meditativeThere are other craft organizing principles.”
U: “i mean this in the best way, mr siken— i wish to eat your poetry. i want to bite into it like an apple.”
RS: “For a while I wrote my dreams on sheets with sharpies and slept in them”
RS: “It is good advice to avoid "very" and "something" unless you have a reason to use them. In WoTF, the investigation was into "things" so I had to use the word. In the new work, I had lost language, so climbing back into it was full of small, throw-away words on purpose.”
U: “Hello mister richard siken might you have a solution for what do to when i am feeling profoundly sad ?”
RS: “Feel it absolutely completely for ten minutes, the shake is off as hard as you can. Run, dance, scream, and then be nice to yourself.”
U: “What about if you’re feeling profoundly sad within the company of other people?”
RS: “Imagine that everyone feels the same way. Then try to make one of them feel a little better.”
August 15th, 2023
U: “I’ve never read or viewed crush as a “thing” that made me sad, it’s sadness felt like it complimented my own in some way and provided me with intense comfort. It came to feel like a friend who deeply understood, it looked at my own sadness and perceived it” RS: “A book is a strange thing. It's a "thing" -- it takes up space and casts a shadow -- but it's also not really a thing. I like the wiggly-ness of it. My painter friends get "your painting makes me feel sad" and I get "you make me feel sad." I understand, but still.”
RS (in response to the image above): “I want it to be a thing I made, not a thing I did to someone. Books are just weird like that: so immediate that you forget it's just words in order on a page. Also, I know it isn't "just" that. It's a kind of magic, really.”
U: “Apologies for a too-deep question: How do you reconcile wanting to help the world with the need to create dark, sad art? (As a songwriter) aren't I supposed to uplift with my words? But I want to be authentic, not faux positive.”
RS: “I didn't so much want to help the world, I wanted to express something true. I hoped it wouldn't be damaging. Turns out, it can't be damaging if it's honest. It's a relief to realize that.”
U: “Also considering Crush was published in 2005, I wonder if because of that time in society, if there were alot of mindsets and perspectives that werent as progressive surrounding queer love, poetry, and melancholy as they are today. I think people were afraid to feel”
RS: “I'm afraid things are swinging back to old ways of thinking. I'm gonna hold my ground and not forget. Though I'm so glad things changed so much.”
U: “Why did you have to admit to writing wincest” ( linking to the post about Richard Siken and his fanfic writing to explain what ‘wincest’ is for those who are out of the know)
RS: “I'm not afraid of being alive and I'm not afraid of trying things and I didn't live through the AIDS pandemic and a significant stroke to be afraid of literature. Literature that makes people uncomfortable is still literature. It's valid. I will not support censorship.”
U: “what do i do with the enormity of my desire when it's disgusting me?”
RS: “Acknowledge the feeling, then forgive yourself. It isn't actually disgusting, it's just overwhelming.”
U: “mr sir richard siken how do you get over a breakup without wanting to skin yrself alive” RS: “I don't know. I could say stuff but really I don't know. We're not allowed to hurt ourselves, but I don't know to get over it except to wait it out and let life get bigger as it gets smaller.”
U: “Mr Richard Siken, what is your favourite word? To write/to read/in general/etc. :)”
RS: “I like the hiss of ice and glass and mist and frost”
August 16th, 2023
U: “mr richard siken what do i do when i’m always the one who loves more”
RS: “Congratulate yourself”
U(different user, same post): “But what do i do when i yearn for what i give in spades to be returned to me freely mr richard siken :(“
RS: “Yearning for what isn't being offered is a trap. Take a breath and look around and see what the world is offering. You get to choose from that. If you don't like the options, change your life or wait it out.”
U: “what’s your best advice for the kind of writers block where you just… feel like you forgot how to write altogether?”
RS: “Write something stupid, like an episode of a soap opera or a monologue by one of your pets. You have to blow the gunk out of the pipes. You've got to get loose and unserious -- get back to the fun part -- before you get back to the serious stuff.”
U: “ur the only one who understands me”
RS: “Lots of people understand you, you just haven't met them yet.”
U: “when you write, how do you build up a character in a way that feels authentic?”
RS: “I don't know. That's a fiction question. My fiction is clunky and inauthentic. I can't do character, plot, or dialogue well at all. I can do voice-driven narrative and monologue.”
U: “I see… I think I’m the same way!! i suppose we’re both more drawn to the more natural flow of emotion in poetry writing…”
RS: “You don't have to be good at everything. What they call "style" is just how we compensate for what we can't do.”
U: “hi sir, how do you trust again when someone who has promised to never leave, leaves you? what do i do now”
RS: “There are some things you can't promise. You can't promise you'll never leave because things happen. You don't have to trust again until you're ready, until it feels right, but don't let people promise impossible things: I'll never leave, I'll never change, I'll never grow.”
U: “what inspired you to write the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it?”
RS: “I was trying to express that I'm not gentle because it's easy or because the world is gentle.”
U: “ I think I would die for Richard Siken actually”
RS: “Stay alive for him instead”
U: “How do you know when something is good enough to share or publish? Is it just a feeling?” RS: “You don't have to decide if it's good enough, just submit. Editor's don't really judge if it's good enough either. They consider if it's a good fit for the issue of the magazine they're working on at the moment. Sometimes they say "please send again another time.”
U: “he's (Richard Siken) like my modern day Jesus christ”
RS: “No way. No similarities at all. I'm just a guy who has your back.”
U: “Mr Siken, how do i start writing? What should i write about? I have never wrote a single essay out of choice. But i really want to”
RS: “Start a journal. At the end of every day, write one thing worth remembering about it. Or write in the morning about yesterday.”
U: “It can be anything. Stupid, funny, Sad anything right?”
RS: “Anything, and it doesn't have to be serious, and you don't get to judge it, good or bad, for a year. You just have to relax and do it.”
U: “how do i make amends with my ex high school friend ? i missed her so bad but i dont think she wanted me in her life anymore :(“
RS: “I don't know the situation, but you can try to make amends as long as it doesn't cause more problems. Own up to what happened, fix it if you can, let her know how you feel, and respect her wishes.”
U: “Dear Mr.Siken, how to deal with the fact I may never be loved enough?”
RS: “It isn't a fact, it's a fear. Just relax, you'll be loved enough. It might not come from the place you expect it to but it will come.”
U: “what advice would you give young / aspiring poets mr siken ?”
RS: “Don't commit to a style too early. Try different forms and styles and tones.”
U: “how do I deal with being so scared about the pain of another? it kinda sucks loving people sometimes because it eats you up when they’re hurt”
RS: “You get better at keeping them safe and helping them heal. It sounds silly, but learn how to cook well, give massages, throw parties. If it's serious, chronic pain, learn first aid and read psychology books. Develop your skills.”
August 17th, 2023
U: “mr siken what do you think about loving too much? is it a curse or a blessing?”
RS: “If it's "too much" then it isn't love, it's desire. If it hurts then it isn't love, it's expectation. Or loss.”
U: “how do i cope with grief, of realising you’d come back from the dead for someone and yet they wouldn’t for you?”
RS: “I don't know. I'm going through it right now. Expecting something that isn't being offered is useless, but I'm still stuck.”
U: “Mr. Siken, one question, what do you do with regrets? Do they ever haunt you, taunting you that you’re losing sleep at nights, or do you live with them?”
RS: “The standard advice is "forgive yourself and don't do it again" but I lose sleep and I get wound up. I usually run around to tire myself out or sing really loudly (if my housemate isn't home) or I make poems or paintings.”
U: “sir, do you think losing our own selves is possible? are we just lost (which, hopefully, we can find a way back), or are we truly changing?”
RS: “I’m not sure I understand the question.”
U: “say, one might change in order to receive love, they adapt, they become someone they never are, all to get the love they are hoping to receive. but then come a question: am i actually losing myself in the process? or am i changing, for the better or for worse?”
RS: “If you are acting like someone you never are then you are pretending to be different. If you are no longer who you were, then you have changed. Are you pretending?”
U: “i guess thats the question only we can find out the answer ourselves. takes a lot of reflecting, though. thank you so much for the words, sir!”
RS: “No, it should be pretty simple: are you being authentic or not? Are you being fake to get love? The self isn't lost in any of these scenarios, the question is: are you living like yourself or are you hiding?”
U: “my head is a mess and my thoughts are dripping down my ears. how do i write? how do i write and make it good? how do i write to FEEL good?”
RS: “ Writing won't make you feel good. That's not its function or its job.”
U: “mr richard siken is it really love if you have to ask “ is this love’’”
RS: “I don't think it is, but often it could or will be, you just asked too early”
U: “mr. siken i feel sometimes like i can only write well when i’m in pain. do you have any wisdom?”
RS: “Probably you can write in all moods but you only like the stuff you write when you're in pain. Which is fine. It's okay if it's a choice and not a problem.”
U: “need richard siken to suggest a cure for a life i wish i wasn't born into. where does all the ache go?”
RS: “The more freedom you get, the more you get to chose what kind of life you get. You have to tough it out until you learn the skills and get the opportunities that will make you self-sufficient.”
U: “Hi Richard, what is the worst thing you've done out of love?”
RS: “I don't regret anything I've done out or love. I regret plenty of things I've done out of need, fear, or desire.”
U: “what do I do when being kind feels like bile on my tongue”
RS: “Maybe you are being kind to people who don't deserve it from you. I'm not saying you should be mean to strangers, but you can limit what you give off yourself. Sometimes being kind just means leaving them alone.”
U: “how do I accept the fact they might not ever come back? I feel like the hope is holding me back.”
RS: “Whether they come back or not, you have to figure out what to do with your time while they're gone. Let's say they come back in a year. How will you have spent that year? What will you have to show from it or talk about?”
U: “i've been struggling with a terrible and heavy apathy lately and it's affecting my writing. everything i feel feels so far away. i know apathy isn't everyone's struggle but any suggestions on how to push through it and find myself again?”
RS: “Something in your life is making you want to quit. Find it and change it.”
August 18th, 2023
U: “hey mr siken how do i write down my pain and make it relatable but still uniquely mine?” RS: “Details, details, details. Everyone feels the same things, you're the only one looking at the world from your place in it. First you practice describing, then you practice making metaphors.”
U: “ mr siken how long on average does it take you to write and edit a poem?”
RS: “I polish and polish and I put them down and leave them sit before returning to them. They take a while because I let them sit.”
U: “mr richard siken do two broken people ever belong together”
RS: “Most people are broken. The goal is to heal together.”
U: “and what if they don't want to, or life doesn't want to, where does one put down all that pain and find the same old comfort of familiarity and understanding again”
RS: “You know the answer, you just want me to be the one to say it.”
U: “hi. new to the grief of a very closed love one circle- which has led me to tweet you to ask if you have any words of wisdom or whatever”
RS: “Wisdom on grief. Hmm. I was fixated on the unfairness of it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Months in, I found myself realizing I hadn't thought about it for an hour or so. I congratulated myself for that and looked forward to the next small span of relief.”
U: “your poetry is lovely in the most terrifying way. I think if I ever fell in love and it felt like one of your poems I wouldn’t want my heart anymore. How do u take it?”
RS: “I don't have an experience of any other way. I have seen soft, tender, calm love. I could go for that, no problem”
U(different user, same thread): “I always found Crush quite self-destructive. Did I misunderstand the sentence — I understood it as “I’ve only seen soft, tender, calm love, and I don’t have an experience of any other way than that kind of love” and now I’m really confused“
RS: “In part one of Crush, the speaker wants to die for love. In part two, the speaker loses a lover and no longer wants to die. In part three, the speaker is shot and is dying and really doesn't want to. Also: I have seen soft love but never experienced it.”
August 19th, 2023
U: “ dear richard siken… how much of grief is about what you lose vs. the person who experiences the loss… and is it okay to want to hold onto it despite the worst being over (hopefully)… asking for a friend who is also myself”
RS: “I don't know the ratio, but it _is_ both. You can do whatever you want, you can hold onto anything you want. Only you can decide if you want to let it go, if it's time to let it go, if you need to let it go. I let go if it starts to hobble me.”
U: “how do I stop being afraid of death”
RS: “You don't, you just get better at using your time.”
U: “i never use this account but i just wanted to test something out. hey mr. Richard Siken — what do i do when i miss someone too much?”
RS: “There's nothing you can do except be good to yourself”
U: “Dearest Richard Siken, how to love someone through grief?”
RS: “Do you mean love someone while you are grieving something else?”
U: “Love someone while they’re grieving while also grieving yourself.”
RS: “The love is still there but it seems so small in the face of the huge loss. You keep doing what you always do and you don't expect it to fix anything, because it won't, but it doesn't have to. Love doesn't have to fix things.”
U: “mr richard siken will this feeling of not knowing where life is taking you ever go away? im so scared to grow up”
RS: “Growing up just means you get more skills and independence. You get to decide how to spend your day and spend your money. It's pretty great, actually.”
U: “stepping out of my bubble needs courage which i don't have. but thanks for reminding me that it feels good to be independent”
RS: “You can keep your bubble as long as you want. It isn't tied to your home. I encourage you to enlarge your bubble when you can, when you feel safe and it feels good.”
U: “Mr Siken, what do you do with friends that you outgrow? Like literally nothing about their personality inspires you no more :/”
RS: “You keep loving them, even though you spend more and more of your time elsewhere.”
U: “how do i not let my fear of looking dumb and embarrassment stop me from reaching out to people and ask for help ?”
RS: “Most of life is being dumb and making mistakes. You actually have to put your energy into helping others not feel bad when they fumble. When everyone ten people fumble ten times, that's 90 times you have to reassure other people.”
U: “what do you do when the going gets tough and you have no more fight left in you and even getting out of bed takes a mountain's equivalent of effort”
RS: “You protect yourself and heal. You don't always need to fight. Don't quit, just take a break from fighting.”
U: “are poets/writers bound to be lonely as their writings are regarded as art and art will always be subjective or will the enormity of their emotions ever be considered normal?”
RS: “Writers are lonely because they spend so much time alone, writing. Otherwise they have the same problems as everyone else. Everyone feels deeply, they just don't all talk about it.”
U: “richard siken how do you write in such an expressive way while still leaving room for interpretation”
RS: “Metaphor. It's that simple. Surprising images and unique metaphors.”
U: “How can I deal with knowing that I won’t ever be what the people around me think and say that I’ll be? I tell myself that I don’t care about what they want, but that’s not true. I care so much that it hurts and I’m not the kind of person that fights back because it scares me”
RS: “No one is ever what people expect them to be. After a while they ease up and realize who you are. It's just their hopes and dreams they're putting on you. We do the same to everyone else.”
U: “how do i deal with the realization that every single summer of my teenagehood has been plagued by a man ?”
RS: “You're lucky it's only in the summer”
U: “sir how did you get so good at putting all your intense feelings and situation into such beautiful words”
RS: “Daily practice, not being afraid to suck, getting good at throwing away the trashy stuff.”
U: “My question is: does writing make you feel seen or known by people, or does the acknowledgement of self simply come from getting the words down on the page? Meaning is writing more of an emotional release or a reflection of who/how you are?”
RS: “None of that applies or makes sense to me. I like writing. There is no acknowledgement or reflection or release. That comes before the writing. The writing is hindsight, sentence construction, and editing.”
U: “does richard siken ever get exhausted replying to so many random tweets?”
RS: “I like the random ones and the fun ones and the clever ones. I get tired of the essay test questions and the repeat questions.”
U: “please could you give me a writing prompt?”
RS: “Write a response to the last thing you wrote, but from a different perspective and with a different tone.”
U: “mr richard siken whats the best writing advice you’ve gotten”
RS: "Your job isn't to judge your writing, your job is to write."
U: “how do i fix my writer's block?”
RS: “Express yourself in a different way until the words come back. You may need to replenish the well.”
U: “hi mr. Siken, would you have any advice for someone w/ a bunch of unfinished poems, who wants to turn them into a book, but can't finish them because more and more poem ideas/beginnings start popping up? is there any trick of the business to tame or better use this creative flow?”
RS: “You can't turn unfinished poems into a book. Keep writing. When you wind down from writing, start editing.”
U: “mr richard siken i have so many ideas swimming around in my brain yet i cannot will myself to sit down and physically write. i fear whatever i write will always fall short of what i hoped and intended it to be. any advice greatly appreciated”
RS: “Our work will always fall short because our vision outstrips our craft. We just have to keep doing it. I always get stuck in the space where it's better than I thought it would be but not as good as I wanted.”
U: “mr richard siken did u ever predict this success with this age group? everybody's loved ur work but you being active has def brought so many new ppl into it and gotten ppl like me even more invested. did u see this coming at all when u decided to replace the bot w the real thing?” RS: “I had no idea. I was just going to post a few quotes a day. I think there's a lack of my-age people who are available and listen. My answers aren't that profound, but who else is available? I try to answer what I can. Mostly I just say versions of "It gets better," which is true.”
U: “I hope you don’t mind me asking how do you finish writing a poem? I’ve been a writer for a long time, but I’m new into poetry and I find myself stopping after a couple words/a single stanza. How do I expand?”
RS: “When you get stuck, respond to the last line you wrote. If that doesn't work, pick a noun from the last line and say something new about it.”
U: “can I ask the ways you’ve navigated long gaps in writing, if you have? I have not even drafted a poem in 2.5 years (health and other reasons), and the longer things go, the more I fear that part of me’s gone. I hope this isn’t an inappropriately downer Q”
RS: “That part of you is still there, but you might approach it differently now, which is disconcerting and makes you feel lost. It isn't starting over, it's just writing something new in a new way. The old way might not apply anymore.”
U (in response to the above tweet reply to a now suspended account): “The queer community is post-apocalyptic twice over. So much knowledge, community, and history that was starting to be pieced together, only to be destroyed. Then another build ending in another attempted genocide. And now....?”
RS: “And now we press on, like everyone always”
U: “richard siken how do you swallow hard truths”
RS: “You live in the strongest parts of yourself and you stay brave because there is no other choice.”
U: “apologies if you've been asked this before: do you have any tips on how to write during a block? the stuff i've been writing is forced and feels worse than anything i've ever written before.“
RS: “Work your weak hand: try another medium. Also, you can just write something unserious, to blow the carbon out of the pipes.”
U: “have you encountered/read Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke??”
RS: “A fundamental text. Everyone should read it. And the Duino Elegies.”
U (in response to the above tweet): “how you know when to end your poems?”
RS: “If you've started to summarize or conclude, you've just passed the end and started an essay. Other times is isn't a hard end, it's just a decision to split the text into two (or more) poems.”
U (different user, in response to the above): “Im sorry i kinda didn't understand the "ended on a summation" part - can you explain it a little further ”
RS: “If you sum up or explain at the end, you've passed the poetry part and started to make it an essay.”
U: “I have a question for Richard Siken: how do you deal with Feeling Too Much? Everything is always overwhelming all the time and it’s exhausting”
RS: “It sounds simplistic, but the thing that helps me the most is physical work or activity. I wear myself out and feel my body instead of getting stuck in my head.”
U: “richard siken, do u have any advice for when it seems your literary voice is just the voice of poets you love, is mine in there somewhere? will everything i create be an imitation of art i love?”
RS: “Only you are seeing the world from where you are. Concentrate on the details, make strange images and striking metaphors. The themes are all the same, always have been.”
U: “richard siken does the grief get easier? should i want it to?”
RS: “It gets easier, whether you want it to or not. It's not a betrayal to get over the pain.”
U: “do you know the world to be gentle?”
RS: “I know it's even more important to be gentle when the world is not. I don't always rise to the occasion like I should, though.”
U: “but mr richard siken what if it gets worse”
RS: “It gets a little worse here and there, but the overall curve is upwards.”
U: “mr richard siken how do we deal with being the backburner friend”
RS: “Make other friends on the side, then bring them up to the front.”
U: “do you ever feel like you're not enough of a writer? or that you can't call yourself a "Writer" for whatever reason? feeling like a fraud, i suppose. how would one cope with that feeling if writing is everything to them?”
RS: “I am a writer because a writer writes. I feel like an imposter because I spend so much time making my poems that a lot of the shine has worn off of them for me before anyone else actually sees them.”
U: “but spending that time doesn't really make you an imposter, right? i take a terribly long time with my own work too, and hardly ever share it. i feel like a ghost. does losing the shine make it feel not worth it? sorry i'm asking a lot of questions — thank you for responding.”
RS: “You're not allowed to judge your own work. You have to recuse yourself, you're too close to it.”
U: “mr richard siken how do you get motivation to write/write when you don’t have motivation?”
RS: “I don't. I don't push it. That's when I paint. I push the colors around without words.”
U: “mr richard siken am i really angry if anger exhausts me? shouldnt it feel natural to be angry when you are? and if it is exhausting should i even keep it”
RS: “Feelings are valid and you need to process them. Feelings do exhaust. There's only a problem if you get stuck or if you dwell on it without taking positive action for yourself.”
U: “ how do you keep yourself from cringing or just generally feeling embarrassed when you write your stuff cause whenever i write i feel like an edgy 15 year old trying too hard to seem cool anyways thanks”
RS: “Being an edgy 15-year old is valid. It's not like we get any smarter after 15 or feel any less deeply.”
August 20th, 2023
U: “mr. siken how do i get people to take my art seriously?”
RS: “You don't. You just keep making it and they eventually come around. And/or other people show up who love it. It used to be that few ever got famous while alive, so we're doing a little better.”
U: “how do i stop the cycle of ephemeral happiness and crushing despair”
RS: “You don't, especially if you are under 25. If it interrupts your daily life, you need to try things that smooth out the peaks and valleys. It sounds boring, but exercise, sleep, and nutrition are key.”
U: “how do you tell the difference between what is and isnt poetry? The longer ive been writing and reading poetry the less ive been able to find an answer”
RS: “It gets harder every year, especially for critics. A few years ago, Claudia Rankine won prizes for best poetry and best non-fiction for the same book. When Charles Simic won a prize for best poetry, and it was all prose poems, people lost their minds.”
U: “how do you deal with the overwhelming fear that everything you write is self centred because its about yourself? it's so hard to write without feeling a little disgusted by myself. Also how do u know ur finally a good writer.”
RS: “Write to evoke something in the reader, not to evoke something in yourself. Sometimes we get sloppy and write in a private shorthand that only we understand, which doesn't work for the reader.”
U: “how do you manage to keep a balance between then writing only what people want to hear and being honest ? Or rather what works for you”
RS: “What they want to hear and what you want to say will overlap enough that you shouldn't worry about it. They're going to have favorites and dislikes in your body of work anyway, so you can't trust the trends, even when you can find them.”
U: “richard siken can you recommend me some collections and/or textbooks to read for learning poetry techniques?”
RS: “Start with reading the poem-a-day at http://poets.org because those are the newest poems from the best poets. Look at the syllabi used at the local university. They have them in a section of the uni bookstore. Get used copies of whatever interests you.”
U: “do you have any advice/tips for first time writers looking to be published for the first time?”
RS: “Read lit journals online. Find a few that you love and read their submissions guidelines.”
U: “mr richard siken how do i get rid of internalized biphobia? i want to be ok with being queer but im struggling. it’s even hard to consume queer media because i want that but idk if i can ever have it.”
RS: “You meet more people like you and realize that you don't judge them, then you stop judging yourself.”
U: “how does one not let the weight of the world crush them? i have never felt more queer joy and love than i do now but there’s a constant fear that it will all be taken away, and i worry i am poisoning my own happiness”
RS: “There is always the fear that it will be taken away. You do it anyway.”
U: “tips on getting out of writer's block? i already let myself write "badly" & it doesn't seem to do much”
RS: “Cross-train. Try a different mode of expression for a while. If the words don't come, there might not be any at the moment. Anything that feeds your head will fill the well.”
U: “can you tell me it’ll all work out?”
RS: “It will. It does. You get more skills and more power and more control over your situation. You get to decide how to spend your day and your money and with whom.”
U: “i’m feeling a bit like holden caulfield, i would appreciate ur words. the world seems like a terrible place rn”
RS: “The world is a terrible place right now. The world has been a terrible place before. If you felt good about the world right now, you wouldn't be paying attention. We change what we can and we hold our ground.”
U: “i just wanted to ask what's something that motivates you to work? i'm terrible at consistency”
RS: “I've only published about 120 pages in 40 years. I'm not the one to ask about consistency.”
U: “is it always worth it to let the person you're writing poetry about read your poems? when is it the right decision to keep the poetry just yours?”
RS: “If you show the poetry about someone with them, you'll start to pander to them. Share the poems with others, but not with the subject. Unless they're love poems, which are about the act of seduction and not necessarily about the truth.”
U: “someone i dated for a short time had a feng shui reading abt us (part of their culture) and it said he’s bad for me, so we cant be together. his mom threatened to disown him & called me a degrading term when he tried to question it. he didnt say anything more.”
RS: “Sometimes people make up reasons to ditch you. Sometimes they have a deep, unshakable faith. You can't win, either way. I lost lovers because they decided it wasn't what Jesus wanted for them.”
U: “did it matter? did any of our time together genuinely matter if all it did was end?”
RS: “Everything ends. We die. The only things that matter are what we did with our time.”
U: “I do think that as people get older they get younger. also, you were out at a time that was bad for the community. any tips for those of us in countries where it's still bad? :(“
RS: “Find your people, don't buy the bullshit, be good to each other and hang together, even when you get mad. I came out a few months before AIDS hit hard. I've seen good times and bad. It will never be all good forever.”
U: “i would like to know how to get out of a one-sided decade long infatuation (which honestly is very "I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I say or love me back.") how do i stop?”
RS: “One way is to cut ties. Another is to shift your attention to other things and people without losing the friendship part. It might be the hardest thing you'll ever do but it will make you both feel better and still be able to see each other as friends.”
U: “what do i do with all this grief where do i put it down”
RS: “You can't just put it down, you have to process it. You have to feel it and then let it evaporate.”
U: “how do i not explode from being closeted”
RS: “You have to find some safe spaces, even if they're small. A person or two, a coffee shop or a bar, even a pen pal helps. Then, when you can, you make the spaces a little bigger.”
U : “tutorial on how to write like richard siken quick”
RS: “Imagine you only have 20 minutes to write the last thing you'll ever write.”
U: “how you know when to end your poems?”
RS: “If you've started to summarize or conclude, you've just passed the end and started an essay. Other times is isn't a hard end, it's just a decision to split the text into two (or more) poems.”
U: “do you listen to music when you write you poems, and if you do, what genres do you listen to?”
RS: “I listen to music without words, so nothing interferes with my words”
U: “how do u deal with the mortifying ordeal of being known?”
RS: “You have to not take it seriously. Out in the world, no one knows or cares who I am. Not at the grocery story, not at the gas station, so it isn't really a problem.”
U: “what do I do about the horrifying feeling that my youth is slipping away and the coming of age-movie-style early experience of fucking around and finding myself and being a feral artist with a group of friends is a distant dream and I will end up a corporate cog”
RS: “I took risks, leaned heavily into whatever extra time I had, sacrificed money in exchange for time, went to coffee shops and readings, and failed a lot.”
U(asked on august 8th, 2023): “i’m curious if there were any internal rules for the 2nd person narrative in crush—some of the poems (like seaside improvisation) have an “i” speaker. how does i vs. you work throughout?”
RS: “The second person makes the reader complicit. It was a way of undermining hate but putting the reader in my shoes.”
U: “are the moments of “i” supposed to be about letting the reader off the hook, then?”
RS: “Yes, letting the reader catch their breath. Also the second-person can get exhausting after a while.”
U: “what should i do if i find myself writing the same things in every poem i ever write, just in different versions and different words? is it okay if all my poems tell the same old story just in different ways?”
RS: “Yes. The details of the versions and worlds is what keeps it fresh.”
U: “do you have any advices on how to cope with the sisyphean nature of life?”
RS: “Some games are rigged. Doesn't mean the impossible gets in the way of everything. Some things are easy.”
U: “i’m in the process of writing a short story, but i keep crying whenever i try to continue it since the contents of it are pretty personal and saddening. what can i do about that? i really want to finish it, i feel like my sadness is getting in the way </3”
RS: “The feelings and catharsis are more important than the writing. You don't have to rush it.”
U: “have you ever felt like you were changing through the project you were working on, and therefore feeling like you had lost the immediacy of it? i’ve been kinda struggling with that lately”
RS: “Yes. And there's nothing wrong with shelving a project and starting a new one.”
U: “hey Richard will I ever truly feel and receive the love I give? I am so tired of always being the person who is making others smile for once I want someone to try hard to make me smile” RS: “Relax and let them come to you. You have to leave some room so they can participate at their own pace.”
U: “how to write hopeful poems? Everytime I start hopefully my brain pulls me under.”
RS: “You can't write hopeful poems or not-hopeful poems, you can only write poems from where you are. Otherwise it rings false.”
U: “Do you think I can write my way out of where I am? Sometimes it helps but most often thinking of all the metaphors acts as an amplifier. Is it normal? Have you felt like a clear sky after pouring your feelings into a poem?”
RS: “Writing isn't there to save you. You need a better plan for getting out of it.”
U: “what do you ask of yourself/a poem during the revision process?”
RS: “I memorize poems. If I can't remember a line or a transition, I cut it. I cut something if I've said it before. I cut things that I don't really mean, where I was just showing off.”
U: “Richard siken is it love or is it obsession when you can't get over the person even after almost 2 years (one sided btw)”
RS: “Obsession. Love wishes them well and moves on.” RS: “Maybe not "obsession," maybe just desire.”
U: “im a soontobe creative writing major and im thinking of dropping my may term class for poetry, would it be a good idea to jump into it my freshman year or wait it out until i have more life experience to write poetry?”
RS: “You need to read read read, learn the craft and history, learn the theory before you write in school. Outside of school, do what you want. In school, it's set up to teach you things in a specific order that builds. It isn't about experience, it's about a learning foundation.”
U: “any words for a 19 y/o who thinks they’ll die single, not bc they’re unloveable but bc they think there’s just not a match out there…?”
RS: “ You don't have enough data to predict the future yet. Get more data.”
U: “richard siken, how do i stop feeling guilty and ashamed for disappointing my loved ones even though i'm not doing anything wrong (i'm just trying to grow and leave home)...”
RS: “Shame isn't productive. It doesn't fix anything. If people are disappointed, it's a problem they're having with their own expectations.”
U: “do you have any suggestions on how to move past the thought that “im not doing as well as i should be doing and everyone my age is more successful than me”? i feel like im falling behind and dont know how to stop thinking that.”
RS: “Everyone alway thinks that. We move forward at different speeds, so everyone has evidence of a time when they were "in last place." It's an illusion. I didn't publish much before I was 30. I never got a PhD. To some, I'm a failure.”
U: “what do i do if i can only ever write about the same things, and it's kind of getting obsessive in my longing? though it helps me process, it also makes me dwell on stuff for months/years and maybe it's making me worse.”
RS: “Change the craft aspects. If you're writing in the lyric mode, switch to the narrative mode or the narrative mode. Change the perspective, say it in persona, change the mood and tone, the location, invent new metaphors and vary your line length.”
August 21st, 2023
U: “How can one move on from unrequited love? We don't really expect anything from them, and we wish them the best of everything. Despite reaching that level of acceptance in life, how can one move on personally??”
RS: “Unrequited love is the nice way of saying you're expecting something that's not being offered. It isn't fair. You have to stop.”
U: “But how can you just stop loving someone??? Does it have to conditional?? What if it's not??”
RS: “If it isn't mutual, it isn't love. It's desire.”
U: “how do i fill up the lack unhappiness in myself without abusing the love of those around me” RS: “There's a hole and the love keeps leaking out. It will never be enough until you find and fix the hole.”
U: “i looked through your old interviews and saw you kept a journal. i'm looking to start one and was wondering if you have any tips? did you have a routine?”
RS: “Keep it loose. Don't make it pretty. It's a net to catch things. You catch a lot of trash. Include to do lists, grocery lists, things you would normally use scratch paper for, write as you're falling asleep or waking up.”
U: “how do you shake the feeling of being a hollow of a person? I’m getting all the help and support that I need. But I just feel hopeless (I’m happy sometimes, but it doesn’t last very long). If it matters, I’m only 20 and my older friends (25+) say it’s normal.”
RS: “It's existential dread. It's common. It's fundamental to the human experience and a mainstay of philosophy. Jean-Paul Sartre described it as nausea. My friend Sonja says when you feel hollow you should eat something with holes in it, like Swiss cheese or donuts.”
U: “I think it's kind of wild but also entertaining to see a bunch of ppl go "Richard Siken can I have advice on this thing?" like I would be exhausted lmfao”
RS: “It is a bit exhausting but some people go all dat without a kind word. I did for years. I figure it doesn't hurt to try and answer as long as it isn't real therapeutic or medical advice.”
U: “have you ever felt completely alienated from a poem after completing it - like a total loss of emotional connection and an inability to fathom who you were when you wrote it? if so, do you try to redo it or move on?”
RS: “If you lost your connection, the poem did its job and you processes the feeling/thinking really fast. Thank the poem and move on.”
U: “how do you get over not feeling embarrassed when you read back things you’ve written? i make myself cringe too much at some of my writing”
RS: “You're only embarrassed because you grew so much since you wrote it. Congratulate yourself.”
U: “what do i do when the joy has run out but i’m still doing the things i thought i loved?”
RS: “It's time to find new things then. Don't live out of habit, live out of choice.”
U: “my high school's poetry club are massive fans and mostly LGBTQIA+ do u have any pearls of wisdom for us i could share”
RS: “Read what you love but also read what you hate, because it will make you realize you have things to say and that your voice is necessary.”
U: “does every interpretation matter or only the artist's intention?”
RS: “Interpretations based on clues or evidence are more satisfying to me. If the poem is set in the woods and it is about green things, and interpretation that insists on red is tiring. The artist's intent is to make an experience. They build a landscape. They don't need you to come to specific conclusions, but they do want you to consider what it is and in what way the experience was crafted for you.
U: “when will I forget?”
RS: “I hope you don't forget, I hope you remember with understanding and no hard feelings.”
U: “why is growing up such a sad affair? How do I cope with change? :(“
RS: “We have to change really fast and experience things for the first time, that's why it's overwhelming and often miserable. Also we have little power over out lives and our choices. If you wrote it out on paper as a plan, it would be the stupidest plan.”
U: “Do you have any words of affirmation that you like to think about when life isn't going the best?”
RS: “I imagine that this is the awful part of the story that's necessary to get all the characters in their places for the larger plot to work.”
U: “what to do if you’re convinced that your first love was so raw and pure and special that you feel like no one is ever going to know and love you as well as they did again?”
RS: “The first anything is huge. Even if no one will ever surpass it, you still have to move forward. Crush was the first and best book I'll ever write. I have to keep writing books, though, in spite of that.”
U: “do you mind if a person is inspired by your writing style and tries to emulate it so they can get back into writing (with no intention of profit”
RS: “You can't escape influence, so you have to push through it. Imitate until you bore yourself with it. Imitate but try to make the last part all yours. Imitate to practice your craft techniques. Imitate to keep writing, even when you have nothing to say.”
U: “i wanted to ask if you think it’s possible to be ultimately satisfied with the work we’ve written or it’s just more natural to keep going back to it over time? some things i posted last year make me feel like i’m giving people the wrong part of me..”
RS: “Give people the widest range of yourself. The old stuff belongs to an earlier you. The unsatisfactory parts just show that you have more to do. You can rewrite but sometimes it's okay to leave it be and make new work.”
U: “what do you do when your writing doesn't feel like yours anymore and how do you make it yours again?”
RS: “It depends on why it doesn't feel like yours anymore. Could be you've changed as a person but your style hasn't changed. Maybe you stopped being honest. Maybe you're imitating someone else. Make it fun again, then worry about making it yours.”
U: “if i surounded myself with beautiful things.. do i become beautiful in return too?”
RS: “You're already beautiful, that's how you know what beautiful things are.”
U: “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?”
RS: “You find the balance after a while. You're supposed to have a chunk of every day doing your thing or being left alone. You just have to make sure you're available enough and interested in them enough the rest of the time.”
U: “mr richard siken how do I break free of this body only u can help me now”
RS: “The problem of the body is fundamental to the human experience. It doesn't look how we want it to and doesn't work as we want it to. Break the problem down to its smallest parts: "How to I get through my day with a right arm that doesn't work?" That's a question you can answer.”
August 22nd, 2023
U: “how to get over the fear of making bad art? (not a writer, but i feel like i’m not supposed to be doing it every time i give drawing a try and it turns out not up to standard)”
RS: “Not everything is going to be good. Figure that you'll only want to keep 5-10% of what you make, maybe less. It means you have to produce a lot of work.”
U: “can I ask, what draws you to the recurring imagery of light in your writing?”
RS: “I live in the Sonoran Desert. The light is blinding, everywhere, all day. The heat can kill you. It's just part of the landscape I live in. A lot of the "darkness" in my work is just night, shade, and relief.”
U: “mr siken how do you allow time to heal wounds?”
RS: “Time doesn't care about you, about us. It heals wounds because that's its nature. You can't stop it.”
U: “how does one stop feeling embarrassed about just existing.does it ever go away? the stupid feeling of inadequacy.sometimes it disgusts me to think that I can’t stop needing people to see me. im tired of not being great enough 4 them”
RS: “If you're embarrassed about existing then everyone should be. You're not here to prove anything or be any particular thing or to make anyone else happy. You're here for the experience. Have the best experience you can.”
U: “mr richard siken how do i stop living in the past? swimming in nostalgia and sentiment these days”
RS: “Once a day, look around at your environment and respond to it. That's the present. You have to start connecting to it.”
U: “How do I deal with not loving someone anymore?” RS: “No one, not even you, can make you feel something you don't feel. There's no one to blame. There's no blame.”
U: “someone said that poetry is the spontaneous overflow of emotions and that implies that you’re not in your senses when you write. i’d be delighted to know if that’s what it’s like for you, and if so, how do you analyse your poetry afterwards?”
RS: “Let me see if I can list some definitions I believe: Poetry is the residue of a life lived. Poetry is the tools of conversation used for not-conversation Poetry is language that does more than one thing at once. Those are a few that come off the top of my head. I guess I see poetry as a crafted thing, revised with a goal to evoke. The impulse and the first draft might be the overflow, but it has to be more than that. Poetry is made of words, not emotions. Inspired by emotions sure, but lots of people feel more deeply than I do.”
U: “what is the point of a line break”
RS: “This is my favorite question of all time. I love answering it. The thing that poetry has that no other form has is the the friction between the sentence and the line. The sentence is a unit of meaning. When you break it, you make multiple units of meaning that exist simultaneously, which makes meaning shimmery and multivalent. It forces lateral thinking, it forces emotional thinking. It it surprising and delightful. There are a variety of ways to break a line. Some break where they breathe, some break for rhythm, some break to change the meaning of a word or phrase -- to surprise -- some break with enjambment to gain velocity, some like to click a sentence shut. Period. Full Stop. Line break. Stanza break.”
RS: “Everyone
gets
lighter
everyone
gets lighter
everyone gets
lighter
everyone gets lighter,
everyone is light.”
U: “This is why it’s so hard for me to read a poem on the first read. Idk if i should stop for the breaks or just read it straight thru”
RS: “Consider the line break as a hitch in the breath. The period is a whole note rest. The comma is a half-note rest. The line break is a quarter-note rest. Try reading it out loud like that. It's meant to be a kind of music.”
U: “how does one get over an overwhelming pain that keeps coming back? this emotional pain is sometimes overwhelming and there are times that I can feel it physically.”
RS: “You concentrate on the minutes where it isn't overwhelming and you look forward to increasing the number of minutes you get like that in a day.”
U: “do you title your poems before, during or after writing? do you connect the title and the themes of the poem? ”
RS: “Titles are an opportunity to frame the poem in a certain way, to hint at a way of reading, to add tension between the meaning of the poem and the poem itself, to connect poems across a book or a series of books, to set up a relationship with the work of others, to surprise, to..”
U: “what do you do when you care so much it hurts you?”
RS: “You decide the pain is worth it or you leave”
U: “how do you decide which poems to share with others, whether it be with loved ones or in a published work?”
RS: “If it's going to get you killed, you keep it in a drawer. If it's going to hurt someone, you don't show it to them. If we're just talking about embarrassment, don't worry. People are embarrassed already. They'll appreciate the company.”
U: “how do I discern my writing, what defines a poem vs just rambled thoughts on paper. I have such a hard time calling some of the things I’ve written poetry”
RS: “A poem is made of heightened and framed language. Poetry is shaped with the goal of evoking. Poetry is intended for the reader, not the writer. Poetry has a shape, a strong voice, unique images, and uses figurative language in a surprising, hopefully innovative way.”
U: “u keep talking about writing for people instead of yourself, but if it doesn't feel passionate to u then how do you know that others will want to read and imagine it? do you think u have to feel more about writing than what you write about in order to be good?”
RS: “When I write for myself, I fall into writing in a private shorthand that only I can understand. The reader doesn't get it, can't get it. I only mean that you have to avoid this and make sure you are crafting an experience and guiding the reader through it.”
U: “sorry to disturb but how do you deal with the urge to disappear and never coming back to this lifetime ?”
RS: “All feelings are valid, but not all behavior. You're allowed to feel like disappearing but you're not allowed to disappear. Feeling moves through you and evaporates. Let the feeling move through you and leave you.”
August 23rd, 2023
U: “how do I know that the metaphor I use is the right one?”
RS: “The question is: is the metaphor a useful, unique, and powerful one. There is no "right." Some you just like better for no understandable reason.”
U: “what should I do if love is not enough? if my pain and anger precedes love?”
RS: “You pain and anger are contaminating everything. Love is not enough, friendship is not enough, art is not enough, what the day holds is not enough. You haven't been able to let go of the pain and anger by yourself. Now you need a real-world coach and a support system.”
U: “right now i find almost the entirety of my self worth in making things- i know that i as a person am good because other people like the things i make. this seems fragile to me and i was wondering if u had any advice on the matter.”
RS: “You're not on the planet to prove your worth. Give it up. You can't actually do it, not matter what, and no one cares because they're busy proving their own worth. If you're unworthy, then we all are.”
August 25th, 2023
U: “what do i do when i am always the one who loves but is never loved?”
RS: “If they don't love you back, then you're expecting something that isn't being offered. That's desire. In this case, it isn't mutual. That isn't love, that's hunger.”
U: “I recently upended my life with the expectation that someone who claimed to love me as much as I loved them would stand by me throughout. They didn't. Now I'm left standing in the ruins. How do you start anew when you're left with nearly nothing?”
RS: “You just do, and if you have to, you cry all the way through it. My best friend of 20 years dumped me the day I had my stroke and left me alone and helpless. He was scared. He was a coward. I'm still angry about it every day. It doesn't stop me though. I get stuff done.”
August 26th, 2023
U: “I think a bear might be an animal”RS: “A bear is an animal in the wild. A bear is a weapon if he works for you.”
RS (in response to a user pointing out the bits of poems plastered on the wall in a photo posted by Richard): “Poems getting revised”
U: “i bet they don’t even need it & are already perfect”
RS: “Oh no, they needed serious revision. Most poems do. The inspiration only takes you so far, then you have to craft it to effect the reader.”
U: “how do I reconnect to my work written before a physically and mentally traumatic incident? The person writing those stories feels like a complete stranger, and the characters are now intangible, but I would like to pick the stories back up again.”
RS: “You have to put them in a drawer for a year or two at least”
U: “It's been nearly four years unfortunately. Should I just bury the stories and move on?”
RS: “Yes, or rewrite them from memory from your new angle of approach.”
U: “im going to university next year and i don't know how to start over. how do u build a new life whn u already love th one u live?”
RS: “You're not starting over or losing your first life, you're adding a second life. You're building one of many new outposts you'll have as you conquer more and more of the world.”
U: “What do you do when you’re simultaneously happy with how you’re living but also afraid you’re not as good as other people?”
RS: “We don't get to decide who is more or less worthy. What criteria would we use anyway?”
RS(in response to the above post): “Yes. And footprints. They want me to give them everything but they don't need everything. No one does.”
U: “I return to this segment for a lot of reasons but one of them is space. The distance between any two men (me and a lover, myself and my reflection, etc) is god and the devil all at once. A space that has to be crossed but is an impossible distance. Jeff & Jeff & Jeff & Jeff.”
RS: “Most often God is represented by one person. I suggest that God could be represented by the interaction between two people. And the Devil. And everything: the interaction.”
August 27th, 2023
U: “how do I poet, too? Have been writing poetry to get thru life since I was a kid, and would really like to be able to make a little bit of income off my suffering. Is self publishing the best route? How big should a collection of poems be?”
RS: “See if you end up liking books from the same press or if you like multiple presses. That will give you a sense of who is publishing what you like. Most people need to get a dozen or so poems published in magazines before a press will consider a manuscript. Read lit mags.”
U: “mr. siken can you talk to us a little about this poem? who is jeff, to you? do you choose the stitches or the devouring mouth? any insight would be lovely <3”
RS: “_You_ are Jeff. The reader is. It's a puppet show. It's hypothetical. Which do _you_ choose? I'm not in the poem as a character, I'm the narrator.”
August 28th, 2023
U: “it’s always ‘what do i do with the enormity of my desire mr. richard siken’ and never anything interesting, like ‘what do you smell like mr siken?’ or ‘what would you want your last meal be?’”
RS: “I smell like the forest at night: moss, rain, wood smoke, pine sap, and dirt. By the time I get to my last meal, I don't think it will matter to me very much. I am very interested in my next meal. I kind of want a chile relleno burrito before the sun comes up.”
U: “how do we leave the pain behind?”
RS: “The memory of pain keeps you attentive when you're around the stove. You don't have to be afraid of the stove, you just have to pay attention. If you burn yourself, you wrap it and let it heal. Keep it clean and dry. You don't have to do anything else. It heals on its own.”
U: “Dear Mr. Richard Siken, When I was a small child, my parents made a grand gesture out of my birthday. Now that I’m estranged—for my own safety—I get wistful this time of year. I miss feeling special. How do I convince myself to stop fixating on my longing for a father figure?”
RS: “Everyone longs for a father figure. Even those with fathers. Even fathers. That's why we invented God.”
August 29th, 2023
U: “how does mr richard siken deal w writer’s block like im going INSANE here already”RS: “Either you're forcing it or you're trying to write something you're "supposed to" write. What are you writing and how long have you been blocked?”U: “honestly ive been trying to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing.. instead of solely focusing on one concept which is 'writing about my own misery’ i’m aiming to venture into different things than that” RS: “It isn't so much writer's block as it is the newness of the project. You'll be clumsy while writing in a new way but you're judging it too early and too harshly. Just let it suck for a while as you try/practice writing the new way. I hope this helps.”
U: “is there an order in which you'd prefer people to read your books?” RS: “There are only two. One is about war, the other is about love. It just depends on your mood or interest.”
August 30th, 2023
U: “how does one prepare for an abandonment that they know is coming” RS: “How do you know it's coming? It is a friend, lover, or family member? Will is be loss to death, distance, or change of feeling?” U: “a beloved friend. there have simply been warning signs. i feel that they will leave my life soon, and i’m trying to brace myself but i find it difficult.” RS: “Are you growing apart or are hard feelings developing?” U: “i can’t tell.” RS: “Honesty is best, but you can't expect everyone to be able to answer. You can say something like "I feel like there's a distance growing between us. If it's something that you'd like to talk about, I'd be okay with that." Then you leave it be. Then it's up to them. Then you'll know. If they have to grow, you have to let them. If they're angry and they're wrong (and/or they don't want to fix it) then you have to let them be angry. You can't force people to be reasonable. It's crazy-making, though. I hate when people won't tell me the truth or talk about it.” U: “i hate it too. i wish talking it out was enough more often” RS: “We are high verbal and understand serenity. Some are clumsy but have the best intentions. Some are moody and unconcerned. We love them anyway. Sometimes they disappoint, sometimes they leave. We have to let them. They're working out their own stuff their way.”
RS: “A lot of people are surprised that I'm answering questions. They wonder why. I came out a few months before AIDS hit hard. The generation above me was decimated. The potential role models and guides I might have had were wiped out. We're still recovering from that.I'm only getting the attention I'm getting because I survived. The attention was supposed to be spread out across a vibrant community. I try to be as attentive and careful as I can, because we're still recovering from the loss of the people who would have protected us. Sometimes I get sloppy or frustrated or glib, but I try to be available and tender.”
U: “how does one learn to love themselves and heal from abandonment and trust issues?” RS: “Practice. I know you want a different answer but it's the answer I know. Love yourself for ten minutes a day to start. Whatever you would do for a love one, do for yourself. Increase it to 15 minutes a day after a few months. Also...Once a day, look around and see if you're safe. If you are, enjoy being safe for ten minutes, without the need for someone else to defend or protect you. You can't be "abandoned" if you can take care of yourself.”
U: “Mr Siken, how would you feel if someone used on of your poems as a suicide note? I think I read somewhere that someone did, just wanted to know how you feel about something like that.” RS: “She did. Her boyfriend, who found her, emailed me. If I had never written that poem, she would have used a different poem. She was working out her stuff her way. It wasn't about me. I hope the poem gave her some joy or relief while she was alive.”
August 31st, 2023
U: “how do i grieve the better life i couldve had?” RS: “You don't know that it would have been a better life. You can imagine the first month of that possible life but who knows what might have happened. You might have been saved from true horror. We don't get do-overs and we don't get to choose.” U(different user in response): “What if its obvious that the life that was taken was better for us than the life that we have been condemned to due to circumstances? How do we deal with the regret then” RS: “ Every day, for every one of us, circumstances develop that keep us from a potentially better life. Regret seems to imply that you had a choice. Did you? Did you make your best guess or did you choose poorly on purpose? We all have good reasons to be bitter. It's a trap.”
U: “Do you have any advice for a new writer who worries their prose/poetry gets too wordy or melodramatic?”
RS: “When you revise, cut all the words that don't matter. Cut all the exaggeration and only say the actually true parts. The actual drama of the actual true parts is pretty powerful.”
U: “how can you tell the difference between writing to heal and writing to create? when does a sore memory become tender enough to talk about?”
RS: “Writing to create is the intent to shape an experience for the reader, using craft techniques and figurative language from your toolbox. Writing to heal is a personal investigation, often written in a coded, private language that the reader is excluded from.”
U: “has it always been this hard to let go of things”
RS: “Yes. The language of love is made of grunts and moans. The language of loss is the dictionary. If it's in the room, you don't need a name for it, you just point.”
U: “Mr. Siken you write like how emotions feel. “the swan dive, the little death, a bird flying into a kitchen window, open or shut, this or nothing, it strips the bolts” gah!!! Do you have a name for this meter/rhythm you use? Is it Dactyl?”
RS: “I don't have a name for the rhythm. I use repetition and variation of rhythms. "the swan, the little, a bird... open or, this or." I forget the names. The first set is unstressed-stressed, the second set is reversed.”
September 1st, 2023
U: “could you offer some advice on dealing with rejection as a writer”
RS: “Back when we would get quarter page rejection slips in the mail, I was told to fabricate a spindle that was my exact height and I was not allowed to quit before the spindle was full. You can figure you'll get 49 rejections for every 50 submissions at first. After you get a dozen or so publications in lit journals, the rejection ratio goes down to 24 out of 25. I still get rejections. There are some magazines I just can't get into. Not every writer is a good fit for every magazine.”
Richard Siken is an award winning poet and a man with small hands who will fall short. He is the kind of artist who reminds me why I am an artist when I sink into despair about what the point of all this is anyways. In his poem “Landscape With a Blur of Conquerors” within his book War Of The Foxes there is a line that reads: “To make something beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be” and in the time he’s spent answering questions about love, about life, about the beautiful poetry he creates, sincerely connecting with the people who have admired and supported him and his work — I believe he’s found a way to both make something beautiful, and make it enough.
Links to relevant articles as well as some interviews done with Richard Siken:
Spotify playlist by Richard Siken
The Poet Laureate of Fan Fiction - The Awl
Richard Sikenhas always been a fanfic enthusiast - Polygon
The Doubling of Self: An Interview with Richard Siken - Tin House
Fight Club: Richard Siken - BOMB Magazine
The Need for Making -Poetry Foundation
Thank you so much for compiling this, it seriously means a lot.